| C Words (Coldplay and onward) |
[Sep. 5th, 2008|01:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
I'm listening to Coldplay's latest album a lot lately, and it's pretty damm amazing. I love it when I can use songs to express myself, and it seems a lot of their lyrics can be fitted to my life as of right now. Plus the music itself is really good.
They haven't quite replaced Snow Patrol as my favorite band, though. By the way, they have a new album coming out soon!!! As well as Keane AND the Kaiser Chiefs, so October just gets better and better, really.
I realized recently that all of my so-called novels have insect-related titles. The first one I started, back in my junior year of high school, was called Caterpillar Dreams, and now I have Chrysalis and Catching Flies. Oh, and they all start with C, which I just just noticed right now as I typed them. Haha. So, for my two new ideas, I apparently need some insect-related C words.
I had wanted to call my next NaNo Missed Connnections, but now I feel bad straying from my subconscious formula. What I need is a list of insect symbols. I wonder if one even exists?? I am off to google, friends.
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/insect-animal-totems.html
I'll check that site out later.
I am so curious that it is absolutely killing me. How can people expect to get close to me if they won't be honest with me? Or do I ask for too much? I guess I'm a little nosy. But if people are going to talk about me, they shouldn't make me so aware of it if they're not going to tell me what they say. This applies to a couple of people I know. It's frustrating, trying to strike a balance and curb my curiosity. |
|
|
| |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|11:26 am] |
Jeremy, my sort-of-but-not-really-boyfriend, is planning on moving to Canada in about four or five months (when the lease on his apartment expires). I am sadder than I ought to be about this.
I had this dream, not a sleeping dream but a fantasy, of Jeremy waiting for me while I had fun exploring myself and the world around me. I could take a couple of years off, if you will, to be with other people. I'm just insanely curious about people, what it's like to be with different sorts of others, how we're different yet all the same. Then once I got older and tired of the party life, I could come back home and be with my Sweetness again. This was a mistake.
Why I thought anyone would wait for someone that way is beyond me. I can't expect somebody who truly loves me to just let me fool around on him and then take me back. It wouldn't be fair. And so I support Jeremiah in his decision to follow his dreams, to explore the world in his own way. He says he may just live there for a year and then come back. He's also said he might join the military. Whatever he does, he's really not going to take me back.
Do I feel like I made a mistake? Sort of. I feel like two years from now I'm going to look back and regret my choices. Right now, though, I'm okay with things. |
|
|
| Bad Decisions |
[Aug. 16th, 2008|05:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
AS USUAL, Warner Bros. acts on their insatiable lust for cash. I just heard that the Half-Blood Prince movie has been delayed to next July (which is almost a whole friggin' year away), because they think it will make more money that way. Assholes. Seriously, they are assholes! As though I haven't waited long enough for this film. |
|
|
| Good News for Once! |
[Aug. 12th, 2008|11:33 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
I am going to a Coldplay concert!!!!!
*girlish squeals*
I'm so excited, lol. I absolutely LOVE concerts.
Also, I might actually throw a Halloween party this year, and it would be, like, the very day after the concert. So "The Best Weekend Ever" is in the works.
AND, I know what my NaNoWriMo novel is going to be about this year, and I get to start that the day after Halloween. So, like, the best WEEK ever.
I really like having something to look forward to. It's a ray of sunshine when I'm under a rain cloud of confusion. |
|
|
| |
[Aug. 5th, 2008|11:29 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
Well, Jeremy and I are sort of dating again. We had a long talk about things, and I decided to give him a second chance. But we're starting over from the beginning, as I definitely am not moving back in with him. And so we're just going to go out on dates sometimes.
He promised to try harder, to learn to appreciate me better and compromise. I know how hard it is for people to change, and so I can't say I'm too optimistic, but I have to let him try because I love him, you know? And if we're just dating sometimes I can back out whenever I feel it isn't going to work. We're not even exclusive, so I can still explore my options and possibly date other people. Basically, I have nothing to lose, and so I have to go for it.
I was so used to formatting things this way for the internet that I wrote my entire novel like this (no indents, double spacing paragraphs, and the like). And so lately I've been going through and fixing things a little at a time. It's incredibly annoying. I still have a lot of kinks to work out in the actual plot. There's an entire chapter that's basically just chapter plans and no actual prose. And I had this stupid little subplot that doesn't fit in with the overall story anymore, so I have to remove all of those threads. I despise editing. |
|
|
| Details |
[Jul. 29th, 2008|09:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
I have been inwardly debating the pros and cons of a certain painful decision for quite some time now, and after a lot of waffling back and forth, I finally gathered the strength and talked to Jeremy about parting ways. We both realized that we're just not suited for one another when it comes to a serious relationship. And so I moved out.
It was an amicable breakup, and I feel positive that we'll be able to remain friends. It hasn't even been a week yet, and already I feel much better about this whole thing. I was pretty depressed at first, unsure if I had made the right decision, but I can see now that it really is for the best.
I just hate living with my family again. I wish I had enough money to afford my own place. Maybe I need to get out of Massachusetts. I wish I could drive, too. So there's my checklist, I suppose. Learn to drive, get a car, move someplace cheap. I've always wanted to see the rest of the country. I just know that I'm going to be okay.
Also, I apologize for not being around; I lost my internet access for a while due to a spyware attack back at the apartment (as I'll be calling Jeremy's place from now on). But now that I'm back at the home (my parents' place), I have a computer again. So I'll try to be somewhat active. |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 26th, 2008|11:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
I'm single.
It's hard to believe. |
|
|
| I like making lists. |
[May. 17th, 2008|09:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | content | ] |
A Semi-Comprehensive List of Brightflower's Favorite Places
1. Jordan's Furniture. The really big one with all the different rooms. They've got, like, entire living room sets in all sorts of different styles; it's like a museum you can interact with. I absolutely love it.
2. The New England Aquarium. What's cooler than watching penguins, I ask you? All of the fish are nice, too. :)
3. The TD Banknorth Garden. Hockey games are so much fun, excitement and yelling and sporting abound.
4. Rock concerts. Okay, not one specific place, but anywhere there is loud music and excited people is amazingly cool.
5. The Boston Gardens and Common. Outdoor prettiness in the midst of busy city life. My ideal setting.
6. My own bedroom. Comfort and safety and my boyfriend. It's a sigh of relief.
Now I could have sworn I had penguin icons. Looks like I am in serious need of icon searching. I'll need Boston and hockey and such, as well. |
|
|
| It's every young woman's WORST NIGHTMARE. |
[May. 15th, 2008|01:33 pm] |
I am really starting to want cats. And....(insert drumroll of HORROR)...babies.
This may seem like a good thing, I'm finally feeling ready to take responsibility of another living thing. However....it kind of weirds me out. First of all, I am turning into my mother. She is a super Cat Lady and she loves kids. That's not all, of course, but it is the icing on the Cake of Doom.
I've just been noticing lately that I'm developing tics of hers all over the place. The way she talks and such. It gives me shudders.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. But I never wanted to be her.
I knew it was coming, I hear it all the time, daughters turn into their mothers. I just thought that I somehow could beat it. I mean, I don't share any of her worst qualities, thank God. But what if they are on their way, looming overhead like a dark and scary rain cloud of horror?
But, back to kitties. Every time I visit my folks, I adore their cats. They arrived on the scene after I moved out (which is a shame, because I would have done something about their names, at least). Two black cats, their names are Blackie and Oreo (gee, guess which one has white patches?). SNOOZEFEST. I would have named the partially white one Sylvester, after Tweety's bane. The pure black guy I'm not sure on, but I'm almost sold on Voldemort.
They make me want cats of my own. Ginger, my childhood cat, wasn't very friendly and I was indifferent to her. But these new guys are so nice and cute. I just wonder if I could have a nice little feline friend in my home. I'd feel bad about leaving him alone, though, whilst I'm at work. Plus I don't think Jeremiah would particularly like having a cat.
Which brings me to babies. I adore my boyfriend, I really do, but I am adamant about the fact that he is in no way ready to raise a child with me. I won't say he'd be a bad father, but....he certainly wouldn't become Dad of the Year. But it may come, in time. Maybe if we had a cat he would learn to care for something. |
|
|
| It's kind of important |
[May. 14th, 2008|01:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lonely | ] |
Cake can't quite make up for my lack of friends.
It does a good job trying, though. |
|
|
| Rambling to myself - feel free to ignore |
[May. 11th, 2008|10:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
I always take things the wrong way, or I just can't make any sense out of them at all. So how do I know when to take somebody seriously?
It doesn't really matter either way, and so I don't know why I'm even thinking about it. I don't want to be a drinker, so why do I ponder going out with people? I couldn't handle it.
It's incredibly difficult to be.....loyal. I miss my childhood dreams and naivety. It was so easy in the beginning. Humans are so fickle. |
|
|
| Image Meme |
[May. 5th, 2008|09:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
1. Go to Google.
2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box.
3. Go to the pictures option.
3. Pick one of the pictures on the 1st row of answers.
4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.
( here be pictures ) |
|
|
| Book Reviews: Brightflower Style |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|01:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
So, here is what I've read lately:
1. The Luxe: It's for hopeless romantics, for sure. Teen-oriented, and yet I was drawn into the story and honestly couldn't put the book down. I really can't wait for the sequel to come out. So, the checklist: If you like teen fiction, historical fiction (1899 New York, to be specific), dreamy romantics, society girls in big dresses, this is for you.
2. Good Omens: I've heard a lot of good things about this one, and I wasn't disappointed. It's pretty hilarious. I'm actually curious to find out if there's an online fandom for this book. I have a feeling there is. This one is for people who like quirky, hilarious looks at religion and magic. And characters; it's chock-full of quirky, hilarious characters.
3. Lying with Strangers: A psychological thriller, involving a stalker, murder, and cybersex. Extremely interesting, exactly the sort of thriller I like best. And with a shocking climax!
So, as you can see, I like to read quite a lot of variety. Coming up next is either Twilight, because I've heard so much about it, or The Town That Forgot to Breathe, because the plot sounds fascinating. I'll let you know.
Oh, also, I almost forgot. I also read recently Son of a Witch, which is the sequel to Wicked. It was only okay, in my opinion. Not enough cool plot-twisty stuff happened. |
|
|
| Well, this is pretty much the definition of disappointment. |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|09:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
4-0. Four to nothing!!
How ridiculous. After such a spectacular showing in games five and six, to leave with nothing. It's just so...frustrating.
(Heh, it's hockey talk, for those out of the loop. Feel free to ignore, I'm just venting because I'm annoyed.)
Edit I spoke too soon! Fucking FIVE to nothing. Jesus Christ on a cracker. |
|
|
| |
[Apr. 20th, 2008|11:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
Bruins win!!!
*crosses fingers* I hope game seven goes as well.... |
|
|
| Survey meme |
[Apr. 19th, 2008|02:35 pm] |
TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. It looks like Stonehenge; Jeremiah picked it.
Q. How many televisions do you have in your house?
A. Two, unless there's one in our roommate's room I don't know about.
BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right-handed.
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Just my wisdom teeth.
Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A large box stuffed full of some kind of blouse (at work).
Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
Nope.
BULLSHITOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Hell no; I'd be way too afraid.
Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Probably Lily Evans.
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
Black.
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Hm....I honestly don't remember.
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Not to be too superficial, but it honestly depends on what she looks like.
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
No way.
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Hell yes!
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Definitely!
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Nope.
Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Hm...only if I could pick who to take.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
Nothing.
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
It's pretty funny.
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Carpets.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
Stand.
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
None, unless slippers count.
LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who texted you?
I don't text.
Q: Last person who called you?
Some bill collector, as usual, looking for someone I've never met.
Q: Person you hugged?
Jeremiah, of course!
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
7
Q: Season?
Spring.
Q: Color?
Red
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
Always.
Q: Mood?
Excited (Bruins tonight!)
Q: Listening to?
The shower running.
Q: Watching?
Just the computer.
Q: Worrying about?
Those God-damn Canadiens and the possibility of losing tonight.
Q: Wearing?
OotP t-shirt and capris.
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
Other than in my house? The bank.
Q: What can you not wait to do?
Go to the hockey game!
Q: Do you smile often?
*shrug* A normal amount, I guess.
Q: Are you a friendly person?
Only once I get to know a person.
It occurs to me that I need a hockey icon. Also, I read this book called The Luxe, and it was really good. |
|
|
| The Life Before Her Eyes |
[Apr. 8th, 2008|10:04 pm] |
So, I just found out there's a film coming out based on this book, and the trailer looks so good! This happens to be one of my top five favorite books, so I am extremely excited. :D
Also, I have started watching Dexter on Netflix, and it's pretty creepy. It's about a sociopathic serial killer who works as a blood spatter specialist for the Miami police. So basically he fakes human emotions so that nobody can tell he's crazy. I guess it's a good show, but it creeps me out too much to fully enjoy it. Jeremiah likes it a lot, and I am very curious to see how the plot's going to go, so I'm going to keep watching it.
Nest egg under stairs
Sudden light flash from above
Scatter, rodent friends. |
|
|
| A short one |
[Mar. 30th, 2008|11:29 am] |
I think I'd like to create an asylum for Atonement fans, seeing as how there isn't one already. The only thing holding me back is that I'm not entirely sure what I can actually add to such a place. Plus the fear that nobody will join and I'll inevitably feel rejected. Oh, well, I might do it anyway. Never know until you try, eh? At least Atonement is more popular than the last subject I tried to create a community about (the trix rabbit, heh).
A haiku:
Hands upon circle
Energy flows through fingers
Science, not magic.
Even my tiniest poems need work. |
|
|
| Stalking plans, children, randomness |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|12:50 am] |
So I've kind of started planning for becoming a stalker. It is so incredibly DIFFICULT to find this person on the internet. It's like he doesn't even exist. I was able to get an address for another potential "victim," though. I don't think I'm really going to stalk anyone...it's just fun to think about and plan. Gives me something to do, really.
Children make me feel so incredibly awkward. Little ones, I mean, younger than ten. They just stare at me and never say anything. What the hell am I supposed to do? "Uh...hi." Nothingness. I turn children into zombies. Sometimes I think having a kid would be really good for me, an adorable little person to teach and play games with and hug. But then I think of the crying and the staring and I get scared. I have no idea what to do with a crying child. I'm thinking of this right now because I went to visit my extended family today, I have a cousin who's about two. Jeremy's sister has a baby, too, younger than that.
Jesus Christ on a cracker, my virus scan is freaking out on me. Ten times now with pop-ups. "Warning: a potentially dangerous program something or other." I haven't even done anything different today, I have no idea where this shit is coming from. I really hope I haven't broken anything; Jeremiah will kill me (this is his computer, after all).
I need more icons. I have space for 250 right now!! I'd like some of the bands I like, some cartoon characters maybe. I can't find good pictures or icons anywhere anymore. Livejournal used to have a ton, but I can't even find any using my sockpuppet journal. I know, I said I was completely boycotting the place, but when I hear about drama I just have to look, it's a car accident. Well, no. Car accidents aren't hilarious.
My new goal is to end every entry with something creative. I feel like poetry today. You may want to avert your eyes, as it's probably going to be horrible.
( when you leave ) |
|
|
| I think too much about time. Also, I make some promises I'm not entirely sure about keeping. |
[Mar. 22nd, 2008|10:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  dorky | ] |
I promise I'm going to start being more productive with this place. I desperately want to have friends, but it's basically impossible when I won't reach out to anyone. I am really starting to miss the one RL friend I had. I can't even remember the last time I saw him; it was before I became a vegetarian, so some time in early January. Gah, pathetic. I just never seem to have any time. I'm so lazy. Or maybe just....on a different schedule. It's kind of funny how hours don't really mean anything when you look at them through the eyes of everyone at once. We are all on different schedules. I guess I can't be friends with people who work first shift anywhere, because the scheduling is just off.
I also promise I'm going to start working on the important stuff again. Editing my only promising plotline, really. The Baumann girls, a set of vignettes about twins, is also starting to appeal to me again. So it's Nicole, Baumanns, possibly Lucy (a semi-true tale about my life at work, though I'm not "Lucy," she's Jeremiah's sister). I actually wanted to make Lucy my next NaNoWriMo, but I don't think it'll hold up. I already got a week off work in November and now I'm not even sure I'll do NaNo. How sad. I will edit, though. I'll try.
I was so desperate to get the Atonement DVD, and now that I have it I haven't even watched it yet. I think when I do a bunch of Briony fanfiction will tumble out. That's not a bad thing, but it could distract me from my newfound conviction to work on the original stuff. It's just that I'll never publish anything if all I write is fanfiction. I'm actually not sure I'll ever publish anything, anyway. But I must be positive or I'll never finish anything! =)
( Here's some random fiction that might end up part of the Lucy story ) |
|
|